Thursday, March 29, 2018

TAKE THAT, you cute, tempting little devil!!


Yahoo!  I have finished the outer borders of my "diet/therapy" project.  And I have finally come up with a name for the quilt..."FOOD FRENEMIES."

A "frenemy" has been defined in the modern lexicon as a type of "friend" whose words or actions bring you down.

I am SO glad I didn't proceed with my FIRST outer border plan...


...I was CLEARLY having a bad day when I did the sketch seen above!  Some of you recommended that I NOT use the sketch (but not ALL of you, LOL!).  

My bad idea TOTALLY crossed the line between destroying inanimate, tempting food objects and killing off sometimes alive fast food mascots, too human for comfort.  

The people playing those mascots in commercials, various public appearances, restaurant openings, and yes...birthday parties (oh boy)...are just trying to make a living, for pity's sake!  They may not even eat the food they promote (the lying misrepresenting jerks).



Peanut M&M's may be my worst frenemy.  They look cute in a nice cut glass or decorative bowl (and really, how often do we actually get the chance to use and display those?).  

It is just so easy to walk by the cute dish, admire it (try to remember which wedding guest it came from), and grab one (a handful) and go (then continually walk by the bowl).  And, you don't have to keep dealing with that pesky twist tie and noisy, crinkling bag.



They melt in your mouth, not in your hand.  The little jewels won't stain sewing/quilting/embroidery projects (or the inside of your pocket - yippee!).  Inside the bra is not recommended...too warm...and too hard to explain the colorful smears on your breasts.



They are easy to "store" (hide) in the weirdest (most convenient) places...like in the pull down tool storage bin on the front of my Genome sewing machine (now filled with plain, whole almonds...definitely not as sexy and alluring).  

Or perhaps tucked into a an underwear drawer or stuffed in the cabinet with the cleaning supplies...places not often frequented by anyone else in the house (we don't have to share EVERYTHING with our spouse/family). 



It is hard not to think of these cute, goofy M&M mascots after a bad day or an unfortunate encounter with someone.  Just look how cheerful and concerned they look!    They REALLY want to make you feel better (then secretly mock you behind your back about the tummy roll and double chin).



Why arrows you might ask?  Well...first, I did not want to repeat any of the other methods of killing off frenemies, although I fantasized about pounding them with a hammer.  But, their small remains would have been too easy to gather and save as a festive topper for my ice cream later.



I love a challenge...trying to aim and pierce their hard, candy shells would be tricky...and archery is a sport, right!  This might actually burn some calories.  BONUS!



And finally, they so nicely blend with your holiday decor...red and green for Christmas, red, pink and white for Valentine's Day, pastels for Easter, etc.  They really go out of their way to please us (yeah, who else does that in our lives, really?).



(Miss Green and Red look so smug, don't they?  What they have not yet realized is that in their moment of ghoulish, snobby triumph, I launched a SECOND arrow at them...mwa-ha-ha)

I will reveal the whole top in the next post...then madly hand quilt it to try and meet a couple of quilt show deadlines.  This won't be a ribbon-winner, but may give quilt show goers a chuckle as they shuffle through the venue.

In stitches (and grumpily munching on an almond),
Teresa   :o)

21 comments:

  1. Much better. Goes right along with the new commercial where red is run over by a truck!

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  2. Oh so,cute. Love your sense of humor! It's so good to have you back.

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  3. Looks like you have been having fun. The outside work never ends when you have so much to do. Hopefully you can get it done and enjoy some of your Summer. Chris

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  4. The mini m and m's are just like Kryptonite for me!! Love your quilt!

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  5. How very cute and whimsical. Much better choice for your border. Something no one will be offended about....well, maybe the company who makes M&N's.

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  6. Oh for sure a much more fitting border that goes with the whole whimsy of the quilt.

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  7. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this border, and your wildly familiar sense of humor! I make a quilt about leftover chicken and you make a quilt about dieting. There ought to be a "foodie" category at quilt shows. We'd both win!

    Hugs and grins,
    Lynne

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  8. I love it--you put such great expressions on those M&Ms! They are my biggest downfall as well. Can't wait for the big reveal!

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  9. I am continually amazed by your creativity and sense of humor. This quilt is such a great way to handle your challenges. I applaud you.

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  10. What a fabulous way to kill off those frenemies!! I love them all.

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  11. Well, I personally found your border sketch hilarious, but I guess it's probably better to go with something "tamer"--lol! My biggest frenemie would be red licorice followed closely by those little devils Jelly Belly's!

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  12. Perfect! Although I also enjoyed the first border ... maybe a "for your eyes only" wall 'hanging'?

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  13. A clever solution for the border. I was going to suggest substituting almonds for the M&M's, but you beat me to it. I agree though that they aren't nearly as enticing.
    Pat

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  14. Love love your border. Completely understand, we had to remove the nice glass bowl filled with jelly bellies because we couldn't keep from scooping up a hand full until they were all gone! And it is hard to pass up the little M&M peanut packets at the cash register at the store.....they are so cute.....but looking the other way helps!

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  15. love the MM's so cute....I knew your ideas would come back and that they did....

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  16. Your border is perfect!!! I adore almond and peanut M&Ms and will even force myself to devour the plain ones!! My stash of chocolate is currently hidden in an insulated cooler that will hold 4 six-packs and it is full!!! Now, I don't eat the chocolate from there...it needs a stay in the freezer first (have you tried M&Ms from the freezer????) to really bring out their best flavor! Plus, being frozen, it does slow down the inhalation process too!

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  17. Love those M&M's! Perfect! There are so few things that actually taste as good now as they once did. Those are one. (Also Hershey's giant bar with almonds. Just saying. ;)____)

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  18. SO fun! The detail in the M and Ms is just amazing!
    Can't wait to see the whole thing!

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  19. Creatively clever. My appetite for M&Ms lessened when I learned a person has to walk the length of a football field to burn off a M&M. Ugh. Here’s to meeting your quilt show deadlines. I think Food Frenemies will be inspirational. Move over Weight Watchers.

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  20. I love it Teresa!! I will never look at an M and M the same again! Your creative juices really were flowing - and I cant wait for the big reveal!

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